rap song

rap song
______

i see you in my
dreams laughin,
and carryin on,
but then i wake
up lonely, talking
to myself cause
you're gone.

love songs play
on the radio and
i flip, or get pissed
off even considerin
some romantic shit.

girl i never said i
was a knight in shining
armor but i guess you
figured that, my personality
would change with a piece
of ass.

and i'm so sorry that
you thought it'd be so
fast, you wanna take
it back, slap in the
face, act all f?ckin mad?

it's sad imaginin the
way it could've been,
if i wasn't such a jealous
ass prick and just listened
like a friend, each time
you tried to point out
how i have this sick
obsession, the way i
question everything in
your day and get all
possessive.

it's truly an expression
of inner pain i'm projectin,
because ill never find a
way to put love into good
perspective, cupid pushed
me off a cliff and ive fallen
deep down into the gutter,
cursed to reminisce about
shit that we both said to
eachother;

yeah lifes a bitch and it'll
always be a bitch, but don't
you think for half a second
that it doesn't have purpose.

there's somethin pushin me
harder to find the reason that
i breath, but still at times i
wish my fuckin parents never
did breed.

I have these dreams of heaven,
and see dead angels in my sleep,
sometimes they cut my heart so
deep that I wish I could just weep
(but i cant.)

someones gotta be a man, conceal
his emotions; so fuck your hope it
is a rope i hang myself with when
there is no copin,

with the inner tension, girl did
i mention its you i'm missin?,
when i'm kissin her in the kitchen
its your face i envision.

you were the pretty girl who
woul put on my dirty t-shirt and
look at me in that bittersweet way
that says "true love hurts"

it's like a curse or even worse
the deepest shame, as i sit here
with this razorblade addicted to
the pain, writing fuck you letters
all across the walls in bloody streaks,
waiting around for the men in white
to take me off for weeks,

to a place with dirty sheets, broken
sleep, and shitty dreams, where i'm
talkin to these shrinks but they don't
understand a thing about me

but please don't doubt me when i
say ill probably be dead tomorrow,
still can i borrow a dollar to drown
myself in all my sorrow?

(suicide love sonnet in key
of X)

every part of me frowns

hey Yo..I had an angel
mom and devil daddy
who fucked..so i guess
i'm a degenerative screwed
up pup.

nobody ever told me what
it meant to be good, and i
was raised out in in a boondock
redneck hood.

my sister feels my pain because
shes part of it too, she knows
what it's like to come into the
world screwed;

hearing bedtime stories inspired
by waterbong hits, hey bitch thats
my pooridge, get your hands of the
shit.

never give lip or else you're gettin
it split, never show emotion because
it makes you a wimp..

who the fuck can win against unbeatable
odds? when everything you do insults the
Living Room Gods?

it's hard to open up with people shutting
you down...harder still to smile when
every Part of You Frowns.

Dead Sober.

dead sober
___________

I'm better off Dead
than Sober..got too
many Muses in My
Head I wish they'd
speak slower..
My Lifes a Roller
Coaster.

But not the kind
for entertainment..
the kind you see
in Final Destination,
when death runs
outta patience...
wow..why does
everything have
to be so Loud?
It's like I'm standin
in the center of
this crowd without
a Mouth.

Nobody Hears My
Words..I spit em
out for the Birds...
3 pennies for
my thought, and thats
two more than they're
worth.

I swear I'm Cursed
with an Irish Gene,
plottin Destruction
on this Earth like
Everyt ime I Drink;
still pour some
Hennessy quick
before I f?ckin freak,
kill all my enemies,
get sent to the shrink.
so they can shoot me
up with thorazine,
feed me
bullshit pills they say
induces my sleep,..
too much caffeine up in
my System as I cringe
and I creep.

I'm an Uncommon
Example of a Synthetic
Animal, created by
Subliminal Channels,
Organic Mammal without
a Cause.

See all the scars across
my Arms? Oh yeah
they're self inflicted..
a razorblade is how
i tolerate these sons-a-bitches...
it eases tension and
keeps me from goin
on killin sprees..
so mind your business
or you might Become
a Memory.

These Haters judge me
because I like to stay drunk
all the time.but I need the
shit to put up with People
or I'll lose my mind.

please don't even
start with all your interventions,
I'm better off passed out
pukin up blood in the kitchen


chorus: Bottle goes up,
whiskey pours down,
then I try to stand, but
I hit the ground; and I'll
probly wake up, bloody
without a friend..but I'll
be screamin f?ck it..
i'm gettin drunk again.
(repeat X2)

V=2
__

You can see me at my
Crucifixion..nailed up
on two microphones
with my tongue missin,
yeah maybe now they'll
listen.

Pick up your Cross and
Follow Me, I'm headed
down a crooked path and
I don't know where it leads,
I guess we'll have to see.

I prayed out to God to
send me down a sign,
but when I opened
up my Eyes I saw an
Angel of Suicide.

I probly shoulda took its
advice but I'm still Alive
and Kickin, asses of these
posers so fast it defies
the laws of physics.

I wish I had a mustard
seed so I could plant some
faith, but all I got's a sack
of weed to smoke my life
away.

never has there ever been
another freak like me,
hooked on misery, pullin
on the plugs to I.V...because
i just dont give a f?ck.
(its all a dream.)


I'm like the Devils Fiddler
playin His Hell upon the
roof, and these motherfuckers
listen cause the shit I Speak
is Truth.

(repeat chorus...
the end.)

j.s.h.

The Devils Water.

The Devils Water.
____________

I've drank the
Devils Water,
one hundred
and ninety nine
Proof..

A Lamb led
to The Slaughter..
(by Hell's fiddler
on The Roof.)
_

The Sky above
turns Red and
Bleeds The Tears
of Fallen Angels..

As Voices of
The Dead
Scream Out.
(and The Heart
Within Me
Strangles.)
__

Vagrants Singing
Scripture hold
their hands up
in the air..

Some hold
Jesus Pictures,
others wail
in False Despair.
__

I sit Alone,
and watch
the Crowd,
entertain their
Shared Delusions..

(and Ironically
they All
seem Proud
to spread
this Mass
Pollution.)


_

to be continued
perhaps...

Angel Eyes and a Devil Heart.

Angels Eyes.
(and a Devil Heart.)
______________

The letter that
she wrote was
done on Paper..
but the Message
in Her Heart was
Onyx Stone.

Still Love,
(that evil bitch)
I can't escape
Her.
(even though
I'm better off
Alone.)

I tried to show
her that I would
be different..
and even wicked
men could make
a change..

yet I don't think
she ever gave a
shit..

(The Truth is
Painted on Her
Pretty Face.)
___

Chorus)

Angel Eyes,
and a Devil
Heart,..
No surprise
Our Love
grew Dark.
I've Fallen by The
Wayside Once
Again..

You will listen
(if you're smart)
and buy your Women
at Wal-Mart...
(and never introduce
em to your Friends.)

Nothing ventured
Nothing gained,
sounds O.K,
but it's a shame,
when Everything
you Love bursts
into Flames.
____

I woke up
drownin in
the stench
of Whiskey..

and lit a cigarette
to wash it down..

but there's not
enough to numb
Loves Hateful
Memory..

(or make you
Wish that She
was Not around.)

Because the
Letter that she
wrote was made
of Paper..

but the Meaning
in her Heart
was onyx Stone..

and Love
(that Evil Bitch)
I can't escape
her.

(even though
I'm Dying Here
Alone.)

(repeat chorus. )

J.Stephen.H.